A college student explores a rare mental health condition
The Monsters We Create: A Conversation with a Mental Health Case (with Anomalous Winners from the NPR College Podcast Challenge)
The diagnosis came when he was a teenager, from visits to psychiatrists and psychologists. That was followed by dark times, which included depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts as he struggled with his own preconceived notions around schizoaffective disorder and mental illness.
“I’m not dangerous.” I’m not crazy. And I’m not delusional,” he says in his podcast, The Monsters We Create. “I’m just one more guy, with a mental health condition, living with it.”
His emotional and deeply personal entry was chosen by our judges, from among 10 finalists. As the grand prize winner of this year’s NPR College Podcast Challenge, he’ll receive a $5,000 scholarship.
When I Was The First Outside of My Family: Telling Vargas Arango about his experiences at Miami Dade College in South Florida, and he told his mom in Spanish
“Of course I had to tell her this is happening to me: I hear voices. I feel presences,” says the 22-year-old international student at Miami Dade College in Florida. “This is who I am. I can’t tell the truth. I cannot say what I really want to say.
It was a huge deal for him to tell her. He was living in a foreign city speaking a different language to his family in his home country, so he’d tell Pella that he would be the first outside of his family.
She says she was worried that they would judge him and even judge her. Is it because you’re dating this guy? I was scared,” she says, “and I wanted to protect him, too.”
After NPR gave Vargas Arango the news, he calls his parents to tell them. He was told by his mom in Spanish that she was crying from joy.
Vargas Arango: He’s Sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t see ghosts – a humorous tribute to his mom
It’s not always to illustrate his experience, he says. He uses distorted voice recordings as a way to make fun of the prejudice that people have. He said that they think you’re hearing voices to hurt someone.
This openness is pretty radical for Vargas Arango. He had a schizoaffective disorder, which he presented as his “imaginary friends,” when he was a kid.
He said in the recording that his mother’s reaction was probably what you would imagine. “She thought I could see a ghost or something. I can’t see ghosts. Sadly.
He had this view, that people are crazy, dangerous, delusional, and you should be away from them.
Hearing about his success has made his mom think that he has a mental illness that she doesn’t want him to change.
If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.
